We pulled back into Omaha this afternoon. We got to experience a Super Target (literally so super,) got a workout in, and just finished up supper. That five days with my kiddos and family was the very best thing Nate and I could have done to prepare to get zapped. I have so much love for all of you rooting for me, I honestly can’t explain the gratitude! I hope to either be able to make weekend trips home to see Al, Tommy, and the gang soon, or get their Nana to bring the babes down to me! I was incredibly blessed with a mama who loves my dudes as much as I do, and will jump through hoops to make my life a little easier at this time. If you see that lady, give her a hug. As much as she hates them, tell her it’s from me. She can’t refuse a hug given at the request of a cancer patient. The rest of this entry was written on the road this afternoon, I want to take my itty-bitty platform to inform some people who otherwise aren’t and to possibly make a human connection to HPV related cancers.
Early detection is crucial to a quick recovery and increasing your odds against cancer. That sounds terrifying, doesn’t it? Almost as if you are expecting to come away from a Pap Smear with cancer. Medical anxiety is real and heavy, but I urge, nay, I order you to stay up to date on your Paps and screenings. As I have touched very lightly in a previous blog that I had gone over the recommended time to get checked. To paint you a more vivid picture of my experience, I intend on giving you all of it. My very first Pap Smear took place in the summer of 2017 at the first appointment for my pregnancy with Allen. I was 26 years old. It is recommended that women start getting regular Paps at 21 years old, and have one about every three years. My cell structures came back as normal and life carried on. I’m not sure exactly why I never went for checkups in my early twenties. Medical anxiety? Billing anxiety? I would actually have to take a break from partying to be an adult and carry out real responsibilities, who knows? I honestly didn’t know I was supposed to until I was probably 22 or 23. I doubt it was for a lack of available resources or education, more of a lapse of personal interest. Fast forward to my six-week postpartum appointment after having Tommy in the fall of 2019, my doctor in Minot asked if I wanted to do an exam at the end of our chat. She noted that I was not due for one until 2020, and I declined because Nate was in the car with my brand-new Tommy Ty and the toddler boss, Allen. They were obviously fine, but I was anxious to get back out there envisioning the car in metaphoric flames. [Sidenote: during Tommy’s birth, nothing was noticed as being off or abnormal.] Not only did my life get busy as hell chasing my babes around with Nate at work for different increments of time ranging from 3 days to 2 weeks at a time, but COVID-19 made planning near impossible for months. So, I forgot about me. I forgot about well-checks for Tom until the week it should have been done. I forgot that people were supposed to people. We bought an unfinished house and started finishing. Tried to use Nate’s time off as well as we could, had tons of family out to visit, and made many visits to SD. I then started a business, so you could say we had a bit on our plates. That did not include the shits I did not have to give for a voluntary doctor’s appointment.
Cervical cancer is a curable disease, but ya’ll it is not going to be an easy, quick, or fun fight. If my stubborn, possibly aloof, ass would have taken the initiative to get checked out months sooner I would literally just have to dump out my uterus and be done with the whole matter. Because I put “life” in front of my life, I am putting so many lives on hold while I take care of this crap. After experiencing a few months of random bleeding after sex, I finally made the call after every deed done dirty blood had shown. At an exam a few weeks before we welcomed Big Al into the world, there was a polyp on my cervix. It was noted that they just sometimes show up, it would either sluff off at birth or they would remove it and that was that. My OB did remove it after my first homie made his appearance and stitched up that cervix and our lives changed forever bringing Allen home. I brought that up when I started the process of being seen off base for my initial pap as it pertains to finding out I have cancer, and is probably one of the only reasons the clinic worked so well with me to get an exam set up downtown. Was there a connection between the polyp and my tumor? I cannot tell you; one would certainly think. I did have an exam at my postpartum in 2018 (Al) and nothing was noted as abnormal, so who knows. At the very minimum I have lived with HPV for coming on 7 years. Nate being obviously my only sexual partner since mid-2014, you’d think it would show up on either of the exams I had done in my pregnancy. No.
You see, tests for HPV as well as gonorrhea and chlamydia are only performed if the cells on the cervix appear abnormal, come back on the initial smear abnormal, or are requested. Cervical cancer cells are usually pretty slow growing, ergo the time between normal paps range between 3-5 years. If pre-cancerous or abnormal cells are detected, the time between decreases. Though it is unclear if cancer was present during my pregnancy with Thomas, those cells certainly could have had cancerous tendencies. My particular diagnosis is obviously quicker to grow than your run of the mill cervical cancer. I can’t kick myself for going in sooner, as much as I’ve tried. That time has passed and onto bigger fish to fry. Back to my point. Get ya cooch checked, ON TIME! If you haven’t recently, undergo an extensive STD check. Its 2021, shit isn’t taboo anymore. There are many programs across the nation that provide financial aid and resources for women to get pap smears and screenings. All Women Count is one I was recently turned onto by a survivor in the Rapid City area. Being a South Dakota native, I realize my reach is higher there. This program caters to women across the state. I know for a fact you can find resources for financial relief in your area with a two second Google search, and that is quite literally the easiest thing you can do for yourself. No excuses. Check. Ya. Cooch.
A little more about HPV. You don’t need penetration or even sexual contact to contract HPV, you could literally get it from a toilet seat. Insert suspicious girl side eye here, it’s a thing. Look it up. There are more than 200 strains of the virus, and about a dozen can lead to multiple cancers. Cervical, vaginal, vulval, penal, anal, and oral are most commonly linked to HPV. There are an estimated 79 million infected people in the US right now. Most cases/strains are taken out by the body’s immune system, excluding those of high-risk genomes. Guess what, there are no known cures for HPV, but there are vaccines that are proven effective in the prevention of it! You know those Gardasil commercials we have all seen since the nineties? Would you believe they’re not full of shit? Currently Gardasil Series 9 is offered to prevent HPV in men, women, boys, and girls. I did not get the vaccine in my teens, ergo…I have HPV. It’s three shots given 30 days apart, recommended to be given before you start getting it on or around age 12. Your kids will get over the three-time prick. I beg you to do all you can to not watch your loved ones go through what I am.
I know the positivity obnoxiously jumping off the page at you makes it seem like I may be prepared for this fight, but I assure you this is not easy. The smiles are not easy, the sunshine I choose to see is not easy, leaving my kids for unknown periods of time is not easy, the blogs are not easy to write, cancer is not fucking easy. I refuse to wallow in sadness as I do not have a death sentence, and by settling into a dark place I will do nothing but feed this disease. I have a beautiful life, family, and circle of support spanning so far across this nation to smile for. So, G-dangit that’s exactly what I am going to do! Treatment starts tomorrow and I look forward to sharing a day in the life of a strong, stubborn, wondrous cancer patient.
Until next time
XOJO
PS, Comment if you think racoons are Rocky’s or if you’re wrong in thinking “Ricky.”