**This post began April 10th**
Eight weeks, eh. Time flies when you're having fun! I can't say we haven't had some fun down here in Nebraska. Like today when Nate and I went mini golfing, I had a great time! I can't speak for him, but he sure should have after being showered by the dumb luck fairy. We have found some amazing restaurants, utilized the modern amenities that come with high population living (what up, GrubHub,) and did a tiny bit of adventuring. Eight weeks in, and it looks like next will be the last! Typing that I got a little salty solution buildup in my eye. How can something that drug on at a snail's pace flown by so quickly? Five and a half weeks of external radiation, three doses of chemotherapy, a weird tan stripe around my lower waist, too many stomach and bowel problems to count, and halfway through my four brachytherapies. I was just telling Nate last night that I honestly don't think I have fully accepted the fact that I have cancer. You would think after 8 weeks of being relocated and our lives getting entirely flipped upside-down it would sink in. You would think after seeing my army of support pouring in and lifting me up day after day, I would get it. I would think I would get it by now, and I know deep down I do. Cancer is impossible to wrap your head around even when you're living it. It very well could be the fact that I full-heartedly will not accept to be a statistic. I am not a statistic. I am not a diagnosis. I've got way too much stuff to do!
If you caught it earlier on in this entry, we may be headed north as soon as next weekend! I have two more sessions of internal high dose radiation set for Monday and Thursday. The first zaps, this past Monday, hit me like a brick wall. Much like my very first Covid test did two days prior. I was put under general anesthesia for the radiation applicator to be placed and had a hell of a time getting my wits back. After I woke up I was taken over for an MRI and CT scan. I honestly couldn't tell you what the MRI was for, but I know it is the only MRI planned throughout my brachys. The CT scan is to ensure the applicator is in the correct position to hit the tumor full force and I will have a CT every session. While my radiation oncologist and physicist planned everything out, I was sent over to recovery to hang out with Nate. Well, he hung out next to me as I was sure I was about to perish due to cramping. I don't usually take anything for pain, you can ask the poor man that has to listen to me bitch without taking action for headaches. Monday I did, they gave me an oxycodone that didn't touch the pain and made me sick. That pill and I parted ways before they took me in for radiation which took about ten minutes. We were at the hospital from 5:30 am to 4 pm. I hit the bed as soon as we got back to the hotel and woke up the next morning at 9. The next round, last Thursday, was a lot nicer on my body. I wasn't put under general, just a lighter sedation, and it was wonderful to wake right up and be coherent throughout treatment. There was an abundance of gas in my sigmoid colon pressing upward on my uterus making the applicator in said uterus move around. This was found during my CT, and to hold the applicator in the correct position a bar was attached to it and anchored under my legs. Due to the importance of this shebang staying stationary, I got to hang out on the CT bed until planning was done. They finished everything in record speed and got us out of there by 1:30 pm or so.
** Continuing on and rounding out this entry April 20th**
The final two rounds of brachy went as smoothly and quickly as the first. My funky shaped uterus kept me in the CT room through all of planning and radiation. Since I was taking up a fairly important room, planning went very quickly each day and we were able to grab a late lunch right after. In our last week in Omaha we went to TopGolf twice where I finally learned how to work on my terrible swing and stuffed in as much food in that we can't get around Minot. Including The Cheesecake Factory. Holy cats, so good! I definitely felt more human throughout brachytherapy than I did for the entirety of the other treatments. Excluding that first visit of course, I was able to and actually wanted to get out of the hotel and move my body. My nurse told me to give it a month before I got crazy getting back into running, but we'll see if I need that long. We left Omaha the evening of my final brachy and stayed in Mitchell to cut down travel time the next day to our dudes. A fluke that we ended up in Mitchell, and even flukier we pulled in to see one our great friend's pickup in the spot next to ours. We were able to see him and his wife two weeks prior on a quick trip to Sioux City and getting to see him and chat him up at the beginning and end of the final leg was a huge mental blessing. Sometimes I need to remember that there is life outside my own head and that I thoroughly enjoy living it.
We made it to my parents home Friday morning. The kids and us were all equally happy too see one another! They both made darn sure to catch us up on snuggles and kisses, and those alone could heal anything I ever come in contact with! Nate went to our house bright and early Saturday morning. He said it was to get the house warmed up and the house put back in line, but I think we all know he just missed his boat. My mom brought the boys and I up on Sunday, also to help us get life lined back up. The more I think about all the sacrifices I have and have not asked that woman to make, the more I am blown away by her. I hit her with a bus one day when I called to nonchalantly ask if she could come up for the weekend to watch the boys while I went to an appointment to see if the mass on my cervix was cancerous. That poor woman never saw it coming, but never skipped a beat and was right there every second that I needed her. Everyone needs a Tami like mine, and if you don't have one I know she'll be yours if you need her.
Being in our own home is such a relief! It is a reminder that I have so much more to do than sit and think about cancer, treatments, side effects, and so on. These walls and the people in them are definitely going to do more for my healing than any pill could. I have little interest in pills, but will do everything in my power to give my family the very best of me. I have ran into some frustrations being home though. The thought that coming here and life going back to normal was happy, but over promising. I am easily exhausted, and more-so frustrated at the exhaustion that comes with doing medial tasks. Yesterday I was able to get almost all the toys the boys drug out, which was about 98% of them, before I had surpassed my limit. I am having a tough time finding that limit before it is too late and I am gassed. I am working on finessing the line of getting things done and moving for my own sanity, and not overdoing it. Like I said, it is frustrating, but will come with time and practice. The radiation I got will remain active for up to three months and keeping that in mind is hard. I am a calorie burning machine whether I'm sitting on my ass or chasing my homies.
I was set for a telehealth check-up in a month with my Radiation Oncologist, but he decided he would like to do an exam at that time instead. So we will trek our happy little family for a quick trip south whenever that will be. I willl then have scans and another check two months after that to see how effective treatment was. Thinking big thoughts, praying big prayers, and soaking in every bit of a normal life as I can until then. It is a little helpless feeling to sit and wait so long to see how everything did, but I have some plans to hopefully progress healing. Hopefully some walleye therapy sooner than later. Until I have more, thank you for keeping tabs on me. And ladies, keep up on your paps!!
Until next time!
XOJO